Sunday night is the final college group of the year, it's the annual senior night. I was asked to speak on whatever I wanted for a few minutes. Today I took some time to gather my thoughts the best way I know how, to just write stuff down and see what comes out. I went to a great coffee shoppe and got a cold water extract (one of my favorite summer treats!) and headed out to a park. I found a wonderful shade tree and sat at the base with plenty of sun, fresh cut grass, coffee and my thoughts. Here is a transparent un-eddited entry into my journal. My purpose in writing was to figure out what the heck to speak on. I hope you enjoy, and please forgive the scattered thoughts and poor writing technique.
"4 years in Eugene Or now over. I've earned a degree and changed in more ways than I would have ever guessed! I spent 2 years in AO and 2 years out. Friends have come and gone, classes are done. I came here with Katy on my heart and mind and that too ended.
College is a crazy time of change, excitement and growth. How can I take my time here and relate some wisdom to CCF in 5-10 minutes? What do I have to say that is of worth or value?
Maybe I should spend my time speaking to summers since that seems pertinent. I think what I can share must come from what makes me uniquely me. I think I have a great ability to endure and conquer change. I want to share some of my life full of change so I can help CCF to learn how to transition and change.
Last week Dan and I talked about how important adaptability and endurance are to life. It helped me think through my childhood and life and I can see how I have been groomed for change. I moved every 4.5 years on average only counting substantial moves. On top of that I had about 5 small moves. One of the results of all those moves is no long term friendships or stability. It shook my confidence and has shaped my personality greatly. I am tentative to build close relationships and fiercely devoted to any I do have. Every where I go I have to build a new family to fill the void I've had for so long.
With my childhood our family of 4 was always all the family I knew and we had to band together to endure the trials of change. Extended family was marred with a distance. Now I see this modeled in how I build friendships and my "family".
With all the trials and difficulties that came with change I've learned some things that can strengthen any one in view of change.
1st: Change is taught, admit it and move on
2nd: Persistence and dedication are the most important keys
3rd: don't expect change to look like your past, or like you envisioned
4th: Build a family wherever you go and be devoted like a family
5th: No matter what changes, God is the same...BUT!! - When you change, God may appear in a new, different and difficult way. But don't give up, be devoted to Him and continue to get to know Him, He is my ultimate family!
What a jumbled mess of thoughts! I don't know how I ever worked things out without a pen and journal. I am so blessed to have such a great family and so many pseudo families wherever I go. God is good!"
