Sunday night is the final college group of the year, it's the annual senior night. I was asked to speak on whatever I wanted for a few minutes. Today I took some time to gather my thoughts the best way I know how, to just write stuff down and see what comes out. I went to a great coffee shoppe and got a cold water extract (one of my favorite summer treats!) and headed out to a park. I found a wonderful shade tree and sat at the base with plenty of sun, fresh cut grass, coffee and my thoughts. Here is a transparent un-eddited entry into my journal. My purpose in writing was to figure out what the heck to speak on. I hope you enjoy, and please forgive the scattered thoughts and poor writing technique.
"4 years in Eugene Or now over. I've earned a degree and changed in more ways than I would have ever guessed! I spent 2 years in AO and 2 years out. Friends have come and gone, classes are done. I came here with Katy on my heart and mind and that too ended.
College is a crazy time of change, excitement and growth. How can I take my time here and relate some wisdom to CCF in 5-10 minutes? What do I have to say that is of worth or value?
Maybe I should spend my time speaking to summers since that seems pertinent. I think what I can share must come from what makes me uniquely me. I think I have a great ability to endure and conquer change. I want to share some of my life full of change so I can help CCF to learn how to transition and change.
Last week Dan and I talked about how important adaptability and endurance are to life. It helped me think through my childhood and life and I can see how I have been groomed for change. I moved every 4.5 years on average only counting substantial moves. On top of that I had about 5 small moves. One of the results of all those moves is no long term friendships or stability. It shook my confidence and has shaped my personality greatly. I am tentative to build close relationships and fiercely devoted to any I do have. Every where I go I have to build a new family to fill the void I've had for so long.
With my childhood our family of 4 was always all the family I knew and we had to band together to endure the trials of change. Extended family was marred with a distance. Now I see this modeled in how I build friendships and my "family".
With all the trials and difficulties that came with change I've learned some things that can strengthen any one in view of change.
1st: Change is taught, admit it and move on
2nd: Persistence and dedication are the most important keys
3rd: don't expect change to look like your past, or like you envisioned
4th: Build a family wherever you go and be devoted like a family
5th: No matter what changes, God is the same...BUT!! - When you change, God may appear in a new, different and difficult way. But don't give up, be devoted to Him and continue to get to know Him, He is my ultimate family!
What a jumbled mess of thoughts! I don't know how I ever worked things out without a pen and journal. I am so blessed to have such a great family and so many pseudo families wherever I go. God is good!"
3 comments:
Hey Brian the rents here love you always and appreciate the way you reach out across distance no matter what to stay connected. You're right, God uses difficult circumstances and change itself to mould and shape us. Some talk about trial and testing as if God is a professor, but I think it isn't like God needs to see how we respond because he already knows. Instead I think the difficulties are there for us to learn from now or learn from later and, many times learn now AND later. Looks like that is true for you in this journal entry. Thanks for being willing to look back, look up and share your insights. We are so proud of you. M&D
Good evening, Brian. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I wish I could have been there tonight to hear what you decided to pass on to the CCF group. You sound wise beyond your years, life has taught you much. I'm sure glad I can call you my grandson. Thanks again Brian, you make me proud. Grandma B
I know I have told you this already. So no need for detail, just remember :) Love it.
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