Be still and Know that I am God

Well after my crazy start to the summer I'm happy to say that I am now blessed with a busy summer not an impossible summer. The last week was a mad dash to pass my first Spanish term. I won't know my grades for another few days but I'm pretty sure it'll all turn out ok. As tough as the decision to quit was I realized today that it forced me to evaluate my priorities and get them in line. I had not been taking time to be still or listen to the Lord and life goes downhill fast in that situation.

One of my favorite things in life is time alone in the Word or writing my thoughts down in my journal with a cup of coffee. I hadn't done that all summer and today I made it a priority. What a blessing it was. I tend to go so fast that I never take time to postulate on what I'm doing or how I'm doing it, these times are my chance to do so. I am constantly in my head in prayer or just mulling life over (many of my close friends can attest to my headiness), and until I do this my thoughts remain a jumbled mess of thoughts and wanderings.

One of my favorite spots to journal is a small water access pipe along the Willamette river. For four years now I've gone here to think, pray, read, drink a cup of coffee, go on a date well you get the idea. It's quiet, calm, easy to get to, and there's just something about it that I love. Today I spent time in the Word and also had time to journal after that. I started reading through Isaiah again and was struck with so much in the first few chapters. 1:16-17 always stand out but today they really hit me between the eyes, "Stop doing wrong, learn to do good." I am so thankful that sometimes the Lord gives it to me real simple. Life's a journey and his command to me is to learn how to do good not just to be good. As a 22 year old guy I've pretty much worked my whole life at learning so I realize that it's a process and ever evolving technique to be mastered. I think the Lord is so pleased with baby steps sometimes because we're fulfilling his desire of sanctification in our lives. This summer quitting my job will help me pass Spanish sure, but more importantly I'll have time to be in the Word and serving at my fullest capacity and for that I'm pretty excited to struggle a bit financially!


There have been some tough things this summer with jobs, friends, expectations, money, time, and contentment but through it all I live for a perfectly loving God and he's got my back. He's given me a chance to do this summer a different way and I'm excited to learn how exactly it will look. For today it meant some stillness in the sun by the river, to get my head straight. I'll take it :)

Sometimes it's the smallest thing...

Once again I find myself apologizing for my absence this summer, as many of you know it has been one of the busiest times in my life and I just haven't had the time. My summer ministry with CCF has been a fruitful and fulfilling time thus far and it continues to press on. It seems to be the encouragement and challenge that I know I need and others as well. I've also started to work more focused on plans for the fall job with First B. I really love my time I put into both of these and want more time to put towards them. I've been running a training group for a new small group ministry First B is launching in the fall and it's been such an encouraging time! My group is full of some real big players int he church including deacons and elders. To top it off every other member save my partner Becca has grandchildren so it's quite the dichotomy. I'm learning so much from these people and they have really affirmed my leadership and spurred me on to grow further.
School has been tough to put it lightly but you've heard plenty of belly aching about that already. Work continually proves an exhausting task but I do enjoy the time I spend there. I do however find it difficult this year because I have so much hanging over my head that work has been more of a burden than a blessing. As you can imagine my time is spread pretty darn thin with all this and more. My grade in the first section of Spanish has fallen and I'm pushing the edge of not passing it. Today I finally made the decision I had delayed far too long, I quit my job.
This was so hard to do but I had to put my faith in the Lord to provide for me. I took on bike payments so that I could have transportation to my job and thought I would be able to balance it but ultimately my priority right now is finishing school and my ministry positions. I will be able to live for the summer after this decision thanks to some wonderful parents who are willing to help me for the summer. The weight that lifts is so great and I as humbling as it is for me I am so thankful and grateful for the support! I was trying to save up for the fall when I need to search for a job in this economy so the real sacrifice quitting requires is greater pressure in the fall.
Amongst all of my craziness last Saturday a few friends and I took a break for a relaxing movie night. We watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It was good but the real highlight came at intermission. Earlier I went to the store and bought some peaches, and vanilla ice cream. This delightful treat is indeed tasty and refreshing on a hot summer evening but it gave me such a huge smile because of what it has always meant to me. As a child my Grandmother and I would have a slumber party every once in a while and rent a movie and she always bought me ice cream and peaches. It was in that movie that I was overwhelmed with such a little thing that meant and still means so much to me. I even got up and grabbed my camera to snap a shot of the dish because it made me so happy. The love my Grandmother has always shown sticks with me and her dedication to God and her family is a standard I can only hope to achieve. I sure do love her! I had hoped to make a trip back to Michigan this summer but doesn't look like time will allow. But I need to find the time to do so soon! Thanks for making peaches and cream such a special thing to me Gram!
Ok back to Spanish studies now that I have time to do so. No edits on this post so I hope it makes sense, excuse the rambling and any errors.

HOLY BUSY!

This is a quick note because I'm off to bed to get up early to cram for a midterm at 8am. Sorry I've been away for so long but literally have not had the time to update not to mention more important things. I realized how bad it was today when I was coming home at 9pm for the first time and had not called my mother even though it's been top on my list for like 5 days now. I used to use my commute times to at least squeeze a quick hi in during the crazy times but it's not as simple with a motorcycle. Sorry Mom I'm thinking tomorrow I may get a second after a dinner meeting, LOVE YOU!!! Pray that I can pass this Hellish Spanish class it is the bane of my existence and I don't have the time to do it well. Also keep me in your prayers that I can find a little sanity in this crazy summer of mine, it is really wearing on me!
~B