"To be nobody but yourself, in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."
e.e. Cummings
You've caught me, I haven't posted here in a long time but for good reason. I have been on a quest, a pursuit and perhaps the greatest adventure of my life. I've come here many a times crafting witty descriptive animated tales of my story but it was until i read this quote from Cummings that I knew what to post.
When I embark upon an adventure it is a quest worthy of my energy. Perhaps it awakens some boyish sense of adventure, maybe it challenges me to my core, it certainly make me smile, and at the end it is always a good choice. This adventure did all of these things and more!
Feb 19 2011 marked the culmination of my great quest, I asked my best friend Kelli Maks to be my wife, and this is my tale.
January 3rd I sit in my car driving alone with my thoughts, one in particular which had long since been a thought for some reason smacked me in the face as reality. I wanted to marry Kelli. I rushed home for lunch to check my finances which I'd been saving for pretty much my whole life. The light bulb went on, I had it, I had enough finally and I was ready. After lunch I had my phone ready to dial my friend and mentor Wally Anderson who just so happens to be one of the best custom jewelers around. I froze up like a 10 year old Dell.
The next day I gathered my nerves outside of the Whole Foods in Bend and made the call. After a quick catch up I told him why I was calling and he was excited but told me he was out of town for 10 days. We spent those days e-mailing design ideas and beginning to narrow down my designs. When he returned I drove to Eugene to meet him and finalize the plan. What we came up with was better than I ever could have hoped for. We took my old ring in Platinum and modified it to form the base of what was to be Kelli's ring.
It went from this
To This!
The process to design and make the ring took from January 4th to February 18th. The time between was spent lying to Kelli and doing my best to throw her off course. I thought I was so smart, she had bought me a weekend in Bend for my birthday that wasn't until Feb 19 so I had that date set as my target since the "special day" was chosen by her.
The morning of comes and I knew I was nervous when we got in the car to leave and Kelli asked if I wanted some breakfast and I wasn't hungry. I thought oh jeeze no appetite, hold on man it's going to be a wild ride! Our drive to bend is about 122 miles over the cascade mountain range, 2/3 of the way there I had set my sights on a small tributary of Suttle lake for the spot. Kelli knew I wanted to snowshoe on the way but I hadn't told her where. as we pulled of the blustery mountain pass she was excited and nervous about her first time snowshoeing. Luckily she was with me who had been snowshoeing his whole life... not!
It took us some time to find the ridge line trail and I distinctly remember thinking to myself. "Damn it I am not proposing in a parking lot, and I sure as hell aint asking some schmuck for directions!(not that there was anyone around)" I was a little stressed inside and cool as a cucumber outside (or so I thought). after a few more minutes some man appeared to inform us that we were trespassing, my magical day was getting better, I asked for directions and he gave us some obscure excuse for help. We finally found it what felt like 4 days later and started in through 3 ft of fresh powder! After a while we found a great spot overlooking the lake and mountains and I made what turned out to be the biggest mistake of the day. You see I am not a planner per-say so I didn't write up some grandiose speech or hang the ring from the antler of an albino virgin deer but rather had some thoughts on what I wanted to say and figured that was good enough. We were enjoying the view and hugging and I started into my "thoughts" after I said them I dropped down on a knee and asked her. She said yes, we took 1.7 million photos and continued on with our day. what I later learned while asking if I did ok was "you didn't ever say anything, you usually are so wordy I'm surprised you didn't have a speech."
"I did have a speech"
"No you didn't"
"Yeah! Remember 'I've had a lot of best friends but none compare to you...'"
"oh that was your speech... oh that was so sweet!"
Single men pay attention! Say your "speech" while you are on your knee lest it be confused for not a speech!
The rest of the weekend was amazing as was that moment. We had so much fun and she really did appreciate my "speech" and the entire ordeal. We shared many a laugh and memory with great friends and did what we do best enjoy our time no matter what we are doing.
Earlier I said it was Cummings' words that inspired this post and here's why. I am always in a fight to be me and stay true to what makes me who I am. What I found in Kelli is that she has freed me to be exactly who I am. Her support and love has given me the strength to be more than I could ever be without her and I am so proud to call her my fiancé. My fight for life and individualism is greater with her at my side and I am so blessed to have her and so thankful for her love!
